What Women Want
Alone Time
(Originally Published: May/June 2007)
Psst. Hey, buddy. If you found this story clipped from the magazine for you or bookmarked with a note that says "Please read," take it as a sign that someone—and we're not saying who—wants something different for Mother's Day this year. Knowing what women want has eternally frustrated and confounded men, and it's not getting easier. Here's help.
A study conducted by Yahoo! and Starcom Mediavest found that when women tally the time they spend on daily activities, it far surpasses 24 hours. What women need, it seems, is a 38-hour day. But is that what women want? We asked women from throughout the Midwest for input. The ideas are as simple as a glass of wine at the end of the day, a bubble bath, dance lessons or a reunion with college friends. Yes, she likes flowers. She loves chocolate. But she dreams of something a bit more special.
Michelle Daugherty, a 35-year-old Des Moines mom, says a sleeping weekend without her husband, 4-year-old daughter, alarms or appointments would be, well, a dream come true. She has a friend who accompanies her own husband on business trips, just for the luxurious solitude of a hotel room. "He's busy in meetings and doesn't understand why she would want to join him," Michelle says. "She says it's simple: room service, sleep, silence. I find this thrillingly logical."
QUIET TIME You don't have to book a hotel room (although she probably wouldn't say no if you did!). Just take the kids somewhere one Saturday and let her savor the solitude.
A LETTER OR POEM A hand-written note, from either you or the kids, is inexpensive and timeless. Hide it under the pillow, or leave a trail of colorful notes.
A BUBBLE BATH Fill the tub, light some candles, give her a glass of wine, turn on the tunes, hand her a novel, shut the door and leave her alone.
A SPECIAL MEAL OR DRINK Invite the kids to help prepare breakfast in bed or a candlelit dinner. They can color menus or dry dishes while Mom heads off to read or watch a favorite movie.
TO REVISIT ROMANCE Relaxation is doubly nice when you're included. In fact, the Web site iVillage has found that most moms (72 percent) want extra time with their partners. Jenni Bowring, 35, of Saint Paul, agrees. Conflicting work schedules mean she sees her son, 5, more than she sees her husband. "The ultimate gift," she says, would be "time with my spouse and the peace of knowing our son was well cared for." Try Chicago's Peninsula Hotel, where couples enjoy a chocolate buffet. Rates from $525 (312/337-2888; www.chicago.peninsula.com). In Dubuque, Iowa, the Inn at Four Mounds overlooks woods and prairie. From $135 (563/556-1908; www.fourmounds.org).
A TRIP TO SEE MOM How better to celebrate than with the woman who made her who she is today? Even grown-ups need some time alone with Mom.
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